Some Bathroom Chat

I was not surprised to learn that the first documented use of toilet paper was in 6th Century China. Other sources say it was the 14th century but I don’t believe for one minute that enterprising Chinese took so long to invent something so obviously indispensable… Europe in this period was still wallowing in the 100 years war, the Black Death and, the Great Famine but, in china it was the beginning of the Ming dynasty. Oh yeah I can imagine the great Emperor wiping his royal derriere with leaves from the local Tea plantation...NOT! Of all the things China has been credited with inventing I am glad of this one thing about toilet paper; Over the centuries I am thankful that paper has CONTINUED to be thought THE most superior of mediums for the JOB in hand The alternatives don't bear thinking about. Each of us has our alltime favourite SRITH stories no doubt; As a girl I remember cutting up newspaper for use in the “smallest room in the house” and being told off by mum because the squares were too small… “But, I only have a small bum!” I said. My comment wasn't well recieved. In 7 words I had broken two rules; I had “answered back,” AND used a “bad” word. For my CHEEK I received a slap AND was sent to my room to await my father’s return from work. I’m don’t mean to wax lyrical about the room with 101 names, but, "The Smallest Room In The House" does seem to attract a whole set of socially acceptable behaviours one wouldn't normally expect of a room designed for privacy and contemplation, for instance: #1, The SRITH is one place where mother’s have the right to ask of eager little boys “have you been?” - “did you go?,” - “did you shake it?” Or - “did you wipe” - if you are a girl. #2, Lasses can pee in pairs and if they can squeeze into the cubicle at once, in 3‘s but this is most annoying if you are outside waiting with legs crossed #3, Partying girls and boys can take their glass of booze into the SRITH and no one bats an eyelid but to take a cup of tea of coffee would be considered rather, Infradig #4, Girls can and sometimes do, sit on the loo to pee with the door open and at the same time chat with friends and it’s ok…Yeah, yeah, yeah been there...LOL A number of things puzzle me about toilet paper…I can understand applying coloured floral print patterns to create an attraction to your SRITH decor BUT does quilting, embossing or other raised patterning serve a practical purpose…? To enhance the absorbency perhaps ? And finally, I hope it never changes; TOILET PAPER…A reel of perforated tissue wrapped around a cardboard tube… How can one improve on perfection